i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
