Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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