coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i think i have two assholes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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