How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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