Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
