I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Porn is love you can see.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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