This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
