Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize