i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
FUCK WHALES
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