May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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