Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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