Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
