I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
