Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
