You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
