Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
