dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I love you. Go after that dick
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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