Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
