If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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