he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
