i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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