she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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