Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
