Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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