Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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