vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
