Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
