Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
