and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
