My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it's like iHOP with fire
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
