told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
