Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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