i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
