I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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