you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
