Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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