guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
