ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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