I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
