Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
