This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
