Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
