I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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