I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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