i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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