THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
