check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Found the puke drawer
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
