Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
