porn star boner night. come get it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
