Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
