I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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