I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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