I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize