I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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