The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
