He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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