he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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