at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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