Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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